Good Read: 10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives!

I love reading inspirational and self help books. When I came across a really good book that was published in 1998 by Dr. Grace Cornish-Livingstone called "10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives," I couldn't wait to dive right in! How many of these "bad choices" have I made?! How many have YOU made?!

Bad Choice #1: Sisters Dissin' Sisters

Don't try to get on top by putting your sisters on the bottom

 As a black woman, it is not very hard to see the hatred that black women show towards one another, the looks, the gossiping, and the overall act of putting each other down because of how you look, who you're with, how you dress, etc. We don't have to worry about anyone else hating us because we hate each other! Sad, but VERY true. In what other race of people do you see so much hate against one another? (Don't worry, I'll wait for your answer!) Instead of hating each other, let's embrace and empower one another!

Bad Choice #2: No Money, No Honey

If you want your slice of the American pie, then help bake it

Black women (and women in general) need to stop looking for someone to take care of them. Be a real woman and take care of your own, stop calling men cheap when you yourself can't afford the things you demand of.


 Bad Choice #3: Looking For Mr. Right In All The Wrong Places

The emptiness in your life cannot be filled by the empty promise of someone else's status

Stop looking for the material first, just because he has a degree, nice car, nice apt/condo/house doesn't mean that he is "the one" for you.

Bad Choice #4: Exchanging "Sexual Dealings" For Loving Feelings

Know the real fact before you act

A guy who is good in bed may not be good in a relationship. Dive deeper to find out who that person truly is.

Bad Choice #5: Using your Finance to Maintain His Romance

If he is being "kept," he will eventually leave you in debt

You want to take care of my bookkeeping? No thanks, I'm good! I am NOT taking care of any MAN! Enough said!

Bad Choice #6: Staying On, Although Respect Has Gone

Never leave your life in the hands of fate; take matters into your own hands and get the proper help

Dr. Grace says always choose respect over love. I completely agree! There is no excuse for abuse, and there is no love in a backhand to the face.

Bad Choice #7: Loving the "Married Bachelor"

If you're stealing love on the side, someday you may get left on the outside

I have my own EVERYTHING, why would I want to share a man? What goes around, comes around. The day he leaves his wife you be sure to mark your calendar for the day when he leaves you the very same way he left his wife. 

Bad Choice #8: Emotional Dependency Plus Unplanned Pregnancy

If your love has gone bad, just be true, and don't try to use a baby like crazy glue

This one gets me every time. Who came up with the concept of having a baby to mend a relationship or trapping a guy? This almost makes the situation worse, I would never sacrifice my child having a loving and involved father for a relationship that shouldn't be.

Bad Choice #9: Decent Proposal/Indecent Disposal

If you're looking for a man just to fire your torch, then don't complain if you end getting scorched

 Women say they want a man that will keep them guessing and on the edge...good luck with that. Play all the games you want!

Bad Choice #10: Getting to the Church Before Time

Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those who are the outside want to get in; those who are inside want to get out

Marriage is a life long commitment, take the time to get to know that person before you decide to jump the broom. Don't jump the broom before it's laid out of the before, you just might trip and fall!

So, how many of those bad choices have you made?? I have made none! I think all women should read this book, all the contents are very true. Dr. Grace is a great writer and psychologist and has written dozens of books, including a second part to this one called "10 Good Choices That Empower Black Women's Lives."